Grandmother’s Love

It has been 14 years since you’ve passed.

I sat and wept thinking of our last moments together. It feels like yesterday that I stood with my sisters beside your death bed and we pressed our hands into your arm leaving our handprints. Yet your love would last an eternity in our lives. I sit next to a bed of dead grass. I crumpled up the wilted pieces in hoped of new life to spring, just like you taught me all those years ago. I wish to see you as a cardinal. Like how you come to me now and then. I hear a bird sing and I hear your prayers from all those years ago.

How do I feel more than someone else?

We all have hearts.

My grandmother visited me the other day.

My father had struck his finger into a wound that was open and in need of healing.

A wound I had poured alcohol, dirt, and spit into.

I had showed him this wound yet I did not want it to be touched

He raped it.

I wept and wept

What of my life can be not only sustained but transcended,

Vast power realized

Comfort known.

My grandmother came to comfort me with her red feathers and black eyes staring straight at me

“You are my heart”

I have not been forsaken

Her love for me has made my life so.